I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize