did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
