you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
