hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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