Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
operation have a gay friend backfired
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
