Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
