we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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