and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
