On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
