yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize