can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
