I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
