I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i out mim tonsoeep
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