We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
