No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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