I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
