North Korea, Best Korea!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am midnight drunk by noon
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
