I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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