you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
