like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
