I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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