after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
