i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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