k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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