I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize