her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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