Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
