I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
