Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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