it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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