Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
