google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
