I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
