I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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