You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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