he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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