Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
