i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
