I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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