I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my shit smells like andre
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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