Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
