Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
