i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
