Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
