from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
