i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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