I'm really into asian looking animals
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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