He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
