my phone needs a breathalizer
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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