i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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