You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
