whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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