ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
