bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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