i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
MIDGETS
????
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
