If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
whose parrot is this?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
