If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize