is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Even my vagina gasped.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
