The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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