I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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