Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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