guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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