Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
