Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
